Our last post addressed some ways we can access communication as a couple. Here we draw more deeply into our current experience in strengths and weaknesses.
It was really powerful for our marriage when we realized that trouble from the outside was inevitable. But trouble from the inside was much more threatening to our development of oneness. These questions enhance discussion on things which help us strengthen the inside so we can take on the world and an enemy who most definitely wishes to cause us to fail – at a core level.
In my time as a counselor I have learned that when someone is angry there is almost always underlying fear. Men don’t feel respected. Women do not feel cherished. Kids feel discounted or uncovered. When we feel loved and respected it opens the door to communication.
He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble. Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” – Luke 17:1-4
Is it possible that this little ones teaching from Jesus is referring merely to young children? Perhaps this is a much greater principle than we see at first!
As you encounter these ideas/areas take care to see it not only as an opportunity to come to conclusions but to understand each other. Once understanding unfolds, communication can be opened and deepened.