I started back to the cabin and for some reason, decided to just point the flashlight right at my feet. I wanted to see just enough to get me through each step. It was like a tiny little adventure – not knowing for sure what was ten feet in front of me, but trusting that once I got there I’d have the light I needed to get me where I was going.
It made me think about how a lot of us probably feel the need to see the whole plan of things – have everything figured out and know what’s coming. Knowing the future (or the ILLUSION of knowing the future) somehow gives us a sense of control or peace, or just confidence that we’re going to be ok. We want to be successful, safe, protected. So we assume that if we have everything figured out ahead of time and then follow that plan, then we’ll be happy. Maybe not everyone sees things that way but I know I do and I know many of my friends and family feel that way at times too.
But I remember feeling in that moment, as I saw only a small circle of light right in front of me, that that was all I could really ever know, and the rest was never a promise. It’s never up to me, even if I have it all planned out. I think it’s the leap of faith in trusting that God will direct me where I need to go that builds my relationship with Him. Letting go and letting Him lead me IS the plan. If I kid myself in to thinking that I can control the future, and then obsess about it going a certain way, I disconnect myself from the unique path that God has set out for me. Trusting that path brings uncertainty and surprise, yes – but it also brings joy and a deeper relationship with the Creator. I think that’s how He wants us to live out our God Story. Trusting him one step at a time.
Psalm 119:104-106 NIV
I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.