It is easy to focus on the act of adultery and not think about what is under the surface – what is behind it all. God has left little wiggle room when it comes to adultery. We like to make the road wide and expansive for the reasons this happens – but why is it so important to God that we avoid this trap? Is it the huge moral impact? Is it the relational pain which is caused by such choices? Is adultery recoverable or even forgivable?
I have actually searched the God Story and answered each of these questions for myself. And I could pass the results of my contemplations on to you, but I have other fish to fry (see the “adultery: the what and the why” sheet below). I am interested in the root.
Why did God say “thou shalt not” when it came to adultery? And if these truly are freedom commands which allow us to live with a clear conscience, how can I nip this self-destructive thing in the root?
I have concluded that before the road to adultery begins, disloyalty must occur. These seeds begin small and can seem minimal: disrespect, being unloved, personal failure at personal love, differences in expectations, personal immaturity or selfishness – the list is long and painful. And some of us just choose to lust for what we do not have.
LOYALTY is one of the greatest values God finds in people.
“He who pursues righteousness and loyalty finds life, righteousness and honor.” – Proverbs 21:21 He wants us to be loyal to Him. And to our husband or wife. To our family. To our friends. To His people.
When loyal friendship is neglected our exposure to adultery grows.
“A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” – Proverbs 18:24 How does it feel when someone you love or a friend lets you down? What makes a good friend a good friend? How can good friends hurt each other?
Disloyalty robs us of inner strength.
“Loyalty and truth preserve the king, and he upholds his throne by righteousness.”
– Proverbs 20.28 What does this kind of right-heartedness look like?
What is the reward of a loyal life?
“For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” – Hosea 6.6 Loyalty is simply one of the things of greatest value to God. If we cannot be loyal to one another, what are the chances we will be loyal to God?
When can loyalty get messed up?