There are a series of core principles which unlock the door to satisfying and life-giving communication. We discuss seven in this conversation worksheet. Take the time to place on the table where you are finding success at connecting and where you are deficient as a couple and as individuals.
We have found this passage (and principle) absolutely necessary in giving us the freedom to embrace God’s design for communication. Why would the way we treat each other in marriage be any different from how we are taught to treat each others as children of God? Think about it. We cannot escape conflict. It is HOW we deal with it that matters.
“Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and outcries (to scream) and abusive language be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
– Ephesians 4:25-32
Take the time to go over each of these seven principles, making sure you allow the other person to articulate thoughts before you enter into discussion. This is key to any good communication strategy: we simple must be willing to listen and to set aside our own ideas in order to hear those of another.